|
Why Climbing is Better than Sex
(a man's perspective)
* When you climb, you only have to get yourself to the peak.
* If you climb with someone other than your regular partner, no one gets mad, in fact, you can all three climb together and share protection !
* You can reuse your protection, and someone else even cleans it for you, provided you don't put it in too deep.
* You can leave your protection in for the next guy.
* There IS such a thing as being too overhung.
* You can get belayed without first bekissing.
* A good hand jam can be as satisfying as any other kind of jam.
* No matter how many times you fall off, you can always climb back on.
* Having a belay slave is not a criminal offense.
* The rocks never expect you to call afterward.
* Dry friction is a positive quality when you're climbing.
* The rocks don't care if you show up late.
* The rocks don't complain after 7 or 8 pitches.
* When you're climbing, a good two-finger jam will support your body weight.
* Your belayer never hesitates when you yell "TAKE!"
* When you're climbing, weird body positions are considered "cool".
* The rocks don't scream for help when you try for the on-sight flash.
* The rocks don't complain when you don't want to do cracks anymore and want to do some face.
* A three-finger pocket isn't too big.
* You don't have to wait an hour after getting pumped-out.
* If you pop off early, the only one mad at you is yourself.
* If you end up with little bumps on your skin, you can probably blame Poison Ivy or mosquitoes.
* The gear is safer. And reusable.
* Chalk is easier to get off the hands.
* No one thinks you're weird if you have to feel around for a hole/hold.
* Climbing w/o gear is safer than sex without gear. At least if you die, you die fast.
* Always something to do with your feet.
* Routes have safety grades, sex partners don't. I've never had a partner with a G on her forehead.
* Its ok to stick your hands, feet, fingers, knees, nose, etc into any and all cracks while climbing.
* You don't have to wash your climbing toys after using them.
* The positions are more fun.
* Climbing gets safer over the years, sex gets more dangerous.
* If you fail, you can always get a second chance.
* Choice of novice or expert routes.
* A climb can last all day.
* Guidebooks tell you who did the 1st ascent and how many time it's been done.
* Lots of tight cracks.
* The only rubber you wear is on your feet.
* There are still rocks that haven't been touched.
* I actually have someone to climb with.
-------- --------
Why Climbing is Better than Sex
(a woman's perspective)
* The rock is always hard.
* Rocks are never busy watching football when you'd rather climb.
* Rocks don't complain about the kind of protection you want to use.
* You can go climbing with another woman and nobody will call you names or hassle you.
* You can use ropes and harnesses and nobody will think you're kinky.
* You can go climbing any time of the month.
* It's over when *you* reach the peak.
* You won't die of embarrassment if your mother finds your rock gear.
* If it's in too deep, you can yank on a nut.
* Nobody ever got pregnant rock climbing !
* If you need something REAL big, you can always put in a Big Bro' !
* Your partner won't get mad at you if you bleed while climbing.
* You can pick the length and diameter or your rope |
|