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Why Climbing is Better than Sex

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发表于 2005-4-10 20:56 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
Think Simulation
Why Climbing is Better than Sex
(a man's perspective)

    * When you climb, you only have to get yourself to the peak.
    * If you climb with someone other than your regular partner, no one gets mad, in fact, you can all three climb together and share protection !
    * You can reuse your protection, and someone else even cleans it for you, provided you don't put it in too deep.
    * You can leave your protection in for the next guy.
    * There IS such a thing as being too overhung.
    * You can get belayed without first bekissing.
    * A good hand jam can be as satisfying as any other kind of jam.
    * No matter how many times you fall off, you can always climb back on.
    * Having a belay slave is not a criminal offense.
    * The rocks never expect you to call afterward.
    * Dry friction is a positive quality when you're climbing.
    * The rocks don't care if you show up late.
    * The rocks don't complain after 7 or 8 pitches.
    * When you're climbing, a good two-finger jam will support your body weight.
    * Your belayer never hesitates when you yell "TAKE!"
    * When you're climbing, weird body positions are considered "cool".
    * The rocks don't scream for help when you try for the on-sight flash.
    * The rocks don't complain when you don't want to do cracks anymore and want to do some face.
    * A three-finger pocket isn't too big.
    * You don't have to wait an hour after getting pumped-out.
    * If you pop off early, the only one mad at you is yourself.
    * If you end up with little bumps on your skin, you can probably blame Poison Ivy or mosquitoes.
    * The gear is safer. And reusable.
    * Chalk is easier to get off the hands.
    * No one thinks you're weird if you have to feel around for a hole/hold.
    * Climbing w/o gear is safer than sex without gear. At least if you die, you die fast.
    * Always something to do with your feet.
    * Routes have safety grades, sex partners don't. I've never had a partner with a G on her forehead.
    * Its ok to stick your hands, feet, fingers, knees, nose, etc into any and all cracks while climbing.
    * You don't have to wash your climbing toys after using them.
    * The positions are more fun.
    * Climbing gets safer over the years, sex gets more dangerous.
    * If you fail, you can always get a second chance.
    * Choice of novice or expert routes.
    * A climb can last all day.
    * Guidebooks tell you who did the 1st ascent and how many time it's been done.
    * Lots of tight cracks.
    * The only rubber you wear is on your feet.
    * There are still rocks that haven't been touched.
    * I actually have someone to climb with.

-------- --------
Why Climbing is Better than Sex
(a woman's perspective)

    * The rock is always hard.
    * Rocks are never busy watching football when you'd rather climb.
    * Rocks don't complain about the kind of protection you want to use.
    * You can go climbing with another woman and nobody will call you names or hassle you.
    * You can use ropes and harnesses and nobody will think you're kinky.
    * You can go climbing any time of the month.
    * It's over when *you* reach the peak.
    * You won't die of embarrassment if your mother finds your rock gear.
    * If it's in too deep, you can yank on a nut.
    * Nobody ever got pregnant rock climbing !
    * If you need something REAL big, you can always put in a Big Bro' !
    * Your partner won't get mad at you if you bleed while climbing.
    * You can pick the length and diameter or your rope
发表于 2005-4-10 22:51 | 显示全部楼层
born from the simulation
果然需要用E文防备U18啊
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